Book Clubs

Book Clubs

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This reading group guide for Think You’ll Be Happy: Moving Through Grief with Grit, Grace, and Gratitude includes an introduction, discussion questions, ideas for enhancing your book club, and a Q&A with author Nicole Avant. The suggested questions are intended to help your reading group find new and interesting angles and topics for your discussion. We hope that these ideas will enrich your conversation and increase your enjoyment of the book.

Click here to download a faith-based discussion guide for churches and faith-based study groups.

Introduction

In this powerful and deeply moving memoir, Nicole Avant—daughter of Hollywood royalty and former U.S. Ambassador—invites us on an extraordinary journey of love, loss, and unwavering resilience. From star-studded encounters to the shocking tragedy of her mother’s death, Nicole’s story reminds us that life tests us all, revealing our shared capacity for healing, growth, and profound joy.

With grace and raw honesty, she shows us how to find light in darkness, transform pain into purpose, and live with grit and gratitude no matter what life throws our way.

“Nicole Avant brilliantly weaves through her family’s story and her mother’s tragic death some of the most important cultural themes at this moment in our history—faith, forgiveness, resilience, service, and redemption—and she does it all with grace and the gift of a born storyteller.” — Arianna Huffington, Founder & CEO of Thrive Global

Think You’ll Be Happy are the last words Nicole’s mom wrote to her, a hope-filled promise that reminds us of the role we play in creating our own more positive futures. “We can’t banish evil,” Nicole writes. “We have to learn to swim through trauma, to live for all those who can’t.” Turning grief into inspiration, loss into gratitude, Think You’ll Be Happy provides a universal road map for anyone working to remain positive and anchored in hope.

Questions for Discussion

  1. Nicole Avant’s Think You’ll Be Happy is a memoir focused on relationships, love, loss, tragedy, and the strength it takes to grow from it all. What called you to read this book?
  2. Take a moment to reflect on someone you have lost in your life. Whether it be a parent, child, friend, grandparent, colleague, or even a pet. When they passed, how did you grieve? Were any of your actions similar to Nicole’s when she lost her mother? What do you wish you had done differently to help with your healing process at that time?
  3. This book often discusses the people who came before Nicole and how they shaped her and helped her grow into the woman she is today. Who are the elders that have helped shape you? Think about those, in particular, outside of your family members. How have they influenced you? How is their influence different from that of family members?
  4. With those people who came before you, what sacrifices did they make to impact your life? What has happened to you that may not have been available to you without their sacrifice?
  5. After the immediate loss of her mother, Nicole received a phone call from her friend Susana. Susana told Nicole, “Get in the bath. Now. Ground. Ground. Ground. You must ground yourself. Salt, lavender oil, and prayer” (pg. 135). In times of hardship and distress, how do you ground yourself?
  6. In Chapter 7: How to Be Sorry, Nicole writes, “It was a terrible feeling: the realization that I’d become that woman…the woman who forgets about her family, who forgets about her children, who forgets about everything but herself” (pg. 177). This realization came after a conversation with her husband, Ted, after finding out his mother had passed, which could affect an upcoming event for Nicole. What did you make of Nicole’s response? Have you ever been in Ted’s position? How did this interaction make you feel?
  7. In Chapter 8: No Comfort Zones, Nicole shares much about her experience as a U.S. Ambassador, working alongside the youth at the boys and girls detention centers in the Bahamas. What she learns working with them and the figureheads that came to the island to work with them too. She writes, “Just saying something isn’t enough; you have to stand for something so that even before you open your mouth, people will know what you believe in” (pg. 202). What do you want people to know you believe in? How do you want people to see you?
  8. Nicole often discusses free will and its effects. Have you ever faced a decision you wished someone could make for you? If so, why was it so difficult to decide? How did your choice turn out?
  9. What have you received from others during a time of hurt that contributed, even minutely, to your healing? Whether it be a phrase, gesture, embrace, item, etc., how did it help in that time of need? Would you offer the same to others? What have you received from someone in a moment of grief that didn’t help? Why?
  10. Jacqueline and Nicole Avant have given back to their communities in so many ways. They have volunteered their time, helped in political campaigns, donated money or goods, and arranged opportunities for kids to meet and speak with their role models. Reflect on your own acts of service. How long ago was it? How did your act affect those you were helping? Would you do it more often if time and money weren’t a factor? If yes, then what is truly stopping you from helping now?
  11. What is the most impactful takeaway or lesson you’ve received from reading this book? How will you use that in your own life going forward?

A Conversation with the Author

  1. In your book Think You’ll Be Happy, you mention that to forgive, heal, and grow from tragedy and grief, it is best to keep doing. How did writing this book help in the grief of losing your mother, Jacqueline?
    • A: My Mom was a very positive, powerful and productive person. She was a woman of faith and chose to always trust God and The Universe even in the toughest of times. I watched my Mom move through life’s various trials with the will to live with purpose and never give up and by always taking the time to serve others. These lessons that I learned from my Mom helped me put pen to paper and write Think You’ll Be Happy.
  2. You often mention the importance of the dash between someone’s “numbers” throughout the book. Although your dash is still being written, what memory/moment/accomplishment do you think will be most memorable to your dash? Which one are you most proud of?
    • A: I am most proud of loving life and living it to the fullest. I believe that being alive is a gift and a privilege and I’ve done my best to be as joyous and as grateful for my life as possible. I want to be remembered as a person who was kind and made people's lives better.
  3. Growing up, you were often surrounded by major figures and celebrities. How do you think your life and outlook would have been different had your parents not been famous and their friends not been around all the time?
    • A: My parents believed that all people are of worth and value- regardless of status or fortune—they raised me to live by the Golden Rule and to treat others the way I’d want to be treated—so I know without a doubt that they would have raised me with the same values of treating everyone with decency and fairness regardless of their social status.
  4. Forgiveness takes an abundance of strength and time. With the character you’ve built and the lessons you’ve learned from your parents, it is no surprise that you have been able to forgive the man who murdered your mother. How has your faith also helped you find this forgiveness?
    • A: Forgiveness is a very tricky word and in no way do I condone the behavior or the actions of the person who killed my mother. I choose to forgive—or give up—the anger, hate, bitterness for my own sanity. I refuse to give my life force to anyone or anything and also refuse to carry the burdens that eat away at my mind, body and soul. My choice to forgive is always based on creating a great future for myself and others.
  5. What do you hope readers will take away from Think You’ll Be Happy?
    • A: I wrote Think You’ll Be Happy as an offering to anyone who needed to feel less alone and to also feel that their life is worthy of living. Life is a gift and it starts with a number and ends with a number and the “in between” is filled with wonderful moments and trials and tribulations. I hope that Think You’ll Be Happy is a reminder that we are all the heroes of our life story and that regardless of the trial, one can decide to turn the energy around and move forward and live out their lives with meaning and purpose. I truly believe that this is what our departed ones would want.

Enhance Your Book Club

  1. Find a picture(s) you have with a loved one who has passed. Think of a happy memory with them and share that joy with others. Be it the memory reflected in the picture or not, share that memory with others. Tell your book club or coworkers, post about it online, write about it on a blog, or bring it to a family dinner. Invite the people you tell to share a story of their own about the/a loved one who has passed away.
  2. Nicole takes a moment in Think You'll Be Happy to quote a conversation between her and her mother when she was around twenty-five (pg. 122-123). Discussing forgiveness and things Jacqueline could have done better as a parent while Nicole was growing up. Jaqueline said, “To me, love is a verb. I chose to show my love for you through my actions” (pg. 123).
    • Studies have been done, and quizzes have been developed to help couples and individuals determine their Love Language. Of the five Love Language types, understanding which is most prominent in how you give, sense, and receive love is a helpful tool to deepen your relationships with loved ones. It may allow you to understand better how someone important in your life has treated you in the past.
    • Take some time to take the Love Language Quiz: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language.
    • Read through your results and reflect on how you have shown love in the past. Can you see how others who you wished may have treated you differently at some point showed their love? Does knowing your love language help you to understand your relationships better? Would you want to know someone else's love language to assist in how you show them or receive their love? How will you use this new knowledge in the future in your relationships?
  3. The title of the book and phrase, "Think you'll be happy," came from the last text conversation Nicole had with her mother about a sweet potato pie (pg. 9). What food(s)/recipe(s) remind you of a loved one?